Bullying

Was just at synod assembly for the Southwest California Synod. I had the privilege of speaking about something that is personal, powerful and awful...bullying. Here's the speech I gave, for what it's worth. Part of this speech is from the Lutherans Concerned North America resolution on bullying.

I am here to speak about a matter that hurts my heart, bullying. As a child who was always fat, who was born fat, I was bullied mercilessly as a child - due to my weight. As I suffered, I through some amazing help from my church’s youth minister, I realized that there are other people who suffer, too, because of who they are and how they are put together. Through my own pain, I became an advocate, a friend, and maybe to some, I hope, an ally.

Bullying is still around. Some surveys show that over 3/4 of students are bullied mentally, physically, emotionally sometime in their life.

And now it’s found in ever more pervasive means. We have social media sites and cell phones that can make a person’s life a living hell. It is estimated that up to 25% of children are harassed, bullied, emotionally harmed due to social media outlets.

The ELCA Social Statement on Education, which was passed in 2007, expects communities of learning and teaching to be safe places. We recognize that school safety is an issue for all students, staff, and teachers. Unfortunately, incidents of bullying, intimidation, and other forms of violence are not unusual. We affirm that personal safety and security are essential for optimal teaching and learning”

The most recent research I could find (based on 2009) indicates that somewhere between 20-35% of children are bullied in some way every day. The worst time for this to happen is in Middle School – right when we traditionally teach the catechism in our churches! When our youngest child was in Middle School, she missed two weeks of school due to a bully’s threat. Statistically, 8% of students miss at least 1 day per week due to bullying.

Students with disabilities or special needs are at a higher risk of being bullied than others. Students are also bullied at a higher rate around issues of sexual orientation, non-conforming gender behaviors, and dress. I saw this in my own small town school and did my best, even as a fellow student to stop it. When I taught school, whenever I caught a student bullying another student, they were disciplined to the fullest extent that the code of conduct would allow.

Just recently, in the Antelope Valley, a young person took their life due to bullying. And although we have seen increased media attention to the tragic consequences, including youth suicide of bullying, we seem to want to just wring our hands. If steps are not taken to prevent bullying, harassment, and other related forms of violence, where will it stop?

The voice of the church can rise and begin addressing the intersection of race, economic status, age, sexual orientation, gender identity, and physical ability. This is a powerful witness to the healing and life affirming the Gospel promise for everyone! It was at my church that I felt the overwhelming love and acceptance of God, of my peers, and of the adults in my church that kept me from doing harm to myself. I encourage all leaders of children and young people, especially in the Middle School time of children’s lives to be aware and to take action to stop bullying within your churches and schools.

We are a denomination with many resources and partnerships. I would encourage that we expand on those partnerships we already have within every congregation and also to begin to explore new partnerships among our congregations, the synods, the Churchwide Organization, outdoor ministries, campus ministries, Lutheran School Associations, Lutherans Concerned/North America, Lutheran Social Services organizations, public schools, counseling centers and other governmental organizations in order to support and offer preventative programs addressing bullying, harassment, and other related violence, especially with higher risk populations.

I would also encourage every congregation to explore programs within your community that already exist which:

a. utilize positive, inclusive, empowering and developmentally appropriate materials,

b. raise participant’s awareness about the issue,

c. focus on prevention,

d. seek to change bystander behavior into ally behavior,

e. create partnerships between youth and adults

It is only through working together, ensuring that our congregations are safe, bullying free zones of acceptance for ALL of God’s people, that we can keep our kids alive and well, and bullying free.